Another Update…with a question to ponder 🤔

When someone you love is sick you start thinking about things…all kinds of things.

As we sat in the ER waiting room on Monday, my mom said a little prayer half way out loud…she placed her hands on her abdomen and said, “I’ll even pray for myself…dear Bea, help me.”


Bea is a friend of hers who died quite a few years ago. She then started “praying” to other friends who had passed away asking them to intercede for her.

In hearing this I said, (somewhat flippantly which I’m now ashamed of) “You might wanna make that prayer straight to the Big Guy. The Bible says Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, and no one comes to the Father except through Him….and it also says there is only One Mediator between God and man, the man Christ Jesus”.

To which she answered, “That’s your belief but it’s not mine…maybe that’s what your Bible says.”

And I replied, “Well mom, it’s actually in your Bible too.” And she politely said, ” But that’s not our (Catholic’s) belief and I’d appreciate it if you’d leave me alone in this and let me believe what I want to believe…you’re not going to change my mind.”

So, I shut up. I didn’t know what else to say. I was dumbfounded.

My question now is… What exactly do I do with that?

I’m here to help my mom. I came here 1 year ago after finishing my year of service at Maggie’s Place (See my About page) and getting in a car accident. I was unable to work for an extended period of time. I knew she needed some help downsizing and selling her house and I needed a room to myself and a place to stay where I didn’t have to worry about paying all the bills. Anyway, she’s been helping me as much as I’ve been helping her. But I wonder if it’s not time to shake the dust from my feet?

But now she’s sick…so how can I do that? My whole family is sick! I had thought about leaving as soon as we sold the house…but a few months before that happened my aunt was diagnosed with cancer…then my uncle had a heart attack now my mom is sick. 🤷🏻‍♀️

How do I even go about praying about this? The Bible says Jesus came not to bring peace but a sword…dividing even mother against daughter…is that what’s happening? Maybe they’d be better off if I did leave. Maybe He’s letting my circumstances be so unbearable b/c He’s trying to get me to go?

God is not the author of confusion…He has given me a spirit of power and love and a sound mind. But I feel confused. I just need to rest right now and trust in Him. He will direct my steps. I can’t think about it right now.

Here’s the newest update on my mom:

She told the doctor she’s feeling better but that’s not what she sounded like to me before she went down for her procedure today. She’s now had 5 units of blood since Monday night around 11pm and her Hemoglobin only went up to 8.2 this morning.

She’s not out of the woods yet. He saw something in her small intestines that is abnormal and did a biopsy. He said he wants her to be checked out by a doc in Peoria. She has gastritis and a bunch of little ulcers low in her stomach and around the opening to her small intestine. But it doesn’t sound like he thinks that’s where all the blood loss is coming from.

If her blood count is improved after whatever he did today she can come home tomorrow…if not she can’t. He wants her to be able to get up and move around too… if she’s not able to do that on her own she can’t come home yet either.

If her blood count continues to stay at 8.2 or goes up that’s a good sign whatever he did today helped. If it drops the bleeding is most likely coming from somewhere else…and they will need to do a colonoscopy. The other procedure (most likely I’m guessing is an ERCP) they will do in Peoria.

Lord give me wisdom and help my mom (and my whole family) to come to knowledge of Your Truth. In the midst of these circumstances I will still praise You!

18 thoughts on “Another Update…with a question to ponder 🤔

      1. Right now, though you might not know what all to ask for or how to pray about the situation, He’s looking right at your heart and He knows!

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I just said that even…”Lord I’m too tired to even pray.” I’m going to bed now…asking for His healing to come to mind tonight…offering Him my dreams and my thoughts as I close my eyes to rest. My whole heart is sad and my spirit is weary. Thank yoy for reading, praying, commenting…you and everyone.

        Liked by 2 people

  1. Hi I like telling people that no we don’t pray to the dead we only pray to Jesus is the right answer I have had that in my life where I have said no you pray only to Jesus not dead people. God’s will be done not ours.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pray for God’s perfect will. I liked what you said about the Lord not being the author if confusion. Remind yourself of that and be still and know he is God and he will let you know. I didn’t know the Catholics pray to the deceased. I know they light a candle for the deceased…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Jackie, I’m praying for your Mom’s health and also that the Lord gives you discernment regarding your witness. Sometimes things reach a point when all you can do is pray and show them Christ’s love.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I think a lot of your followers have made a good point.
    Thy will, not my will.
    It is so very hard to do. You may not hear it, but he is working in your mother’s life too.
    All you can do is pray. I don’t know how fruitful it would be to pray for your mom to change. Or for her to love the Lord like you do. You’ve said what you needed to say, I commend that, but step away and let him work. She is not your project.
    I do pray for health and healing for you all.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. That is the thing that is so very hard to understand…she says she has great faith in God, that He is with her and has always helped her and she trusts in Him. She says she loves Jesus…and when I say, “Listen to the audio Bible…to hear the Bible read.” (Because faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God…She says she prefers to listen to the rosary being prayed out loud.
      I love what you said though…she’s not my project! I keep giving her back to God…I can’t change her. Thank you.


  5. Blessings for you Jackie, as you experience this trauma in your life. Loving your mom is one of the secrets of the Christian life, whether she believes or not. Praising the Lord in all situations is another means of victory over the difficult times. Your mother may or may not see beyond her own faith, but God remains the same and keeps us with Him at all times. I speak from experience. Going through the last stage unto death with both my parents, they needed to see the joy of the Lord with me as I walked through the valley of the shadow of death with them. Let your mom see the love, joy, and peace that is yours. This is what the Lord wants to do in your life; for you to witness of His presence even to others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for your encouragement. I’m sorry about your folks. I pray that you keep walking in joy and faith to be the blessing and encouragement they need as I learn to do as you’ve mentioned here. My Pastor’s wife reminded me the other day that it isn’t “my job” to save anyone. Jesus died for her too and He is sufficient to save her. He only calls me to be faithful to Him. Sometimes that means being quiet and just letting His Spirit work as she watches me walk in obedience to Him. (She said it much more eloquently…I probably messed it up theologically somehow. But I understood what she meant at the time.). Lol!

      Liked by 1 person

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